My Magical Miracle

 A little over 10 years ago, I had a dream. I have had prophetic dreams before and I often listen to them. I was along a road, it was night, and chilly. I saw before me a white cat walking towards me. I watched him and as he got closer to me I said "Hello Miracle" and he looked up with golden eyes and meowed, as if to reply hello back. I knew in my dream that this cat meant something. So i told my then husband Erik about it. And waited.

 A few months later a girl came to the apartment we were staying at, and I am a cutter from my depression, but had been working hard to stop. This girl made actions as if to cut herself and it drove me to an anger that I needed to take a walk. So I decided I would walk to the place my husband was working and blow off the steam. Anchorage isn't very big, but it is big enough. I was planning to walk at least 20 to 25 city blocks. I was along the Debarr rd and nearing the intersection of Debarr and Airport Heights.

 The traffic wasn't heavy, but it was early winter, and very cold, and the traffic sounded very loud. I had my head down and out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. At first I was going to just keep going, until i saw it was a cat. A slim, white cat, dirty and lean and scared. He was attempting to jump through the snow and get away from the noise. I called "Kitty kitty!" and he stopped and looked back. I called him and then knelt down onto the icy sidewalk. He came a little closer and finally after a few minutes of sitting still and talking to him, i gained enough trust for him to come forward.

 He leaned into my hand and I could tell he was tired, and hungry and just wanted to be loved. I picked him up and wrapped him inside my jacket and he snuggled in. It was then that I remembered my dream, here was ac hilly night, along a road...and a white cat. I looked down into his golden eyes and I asked him "Are you my Miracle?". It was a magical moment, and I have always been a bit of a skeptic about metaphysical and spiritual things, but this one moment gave me a burst of belief, as he chirped a small but confirmative reply.

 I started walking again. We went past the Regional hospital and as I was nearing a set of lights and mini-van steered in and did a U-turn. A man driving, with his wife and 2 kids offered me and my baby a ride. When I showed them it was a cat, they all laughed but thought it cute and amazing that I had made such a sweet new friend on such a cold long walk. They left me at the Carrs where Erik was working and I climbed into the back of the little truck we had at the time, where a plethora of blankets was stashed.

 Erik brought out some food and me and miracle got to know each other in the back of that truck. We brought him home, and the first few days he spent exploring his new home and getting to know the other people living there. That first day, he came to me, and meowed. I finally got the hint that I needed to follow him. He led me to his dish and then proceeded to eat. I scratched his head and walked away. But he stopped eating and demanded I follow him again. For the first few weeks, he wouldn't eat unless one of us was watching him.

 Later that year we adopted a set of boys from someone on craigs list. We named them Xavier and Destyn (male form of Destiny). Xavier and Miracle hit off right away, and I learned that cats can be gay just like humans, because soon the too we inseparable, and sometimes lood. :) They were the best of friends and the cutest kitty couple. I regret that I do not have any current photo's of Xavier, nor any of the two of them together. Unfortunately, Xavier didn't get along at all with my son, and like a parent, I had to make a choice, and we sent Xavier away. I had second thoughts and called 3 days later...to discover they had found an illness in him and had put him down. I realized it wasn't my son he had the problem with, it was an illness. I cried and Miracle mourned. He would walk up and down the hallway crying and looking. I still to this day thing of Xavier as Miracle's soul mate and husband.

 After that Miracle has made friends with almost every cat that we have ever had. He was such a lover and such a sweetheart. He was always calm and protective and had a very maternal type of attitude. We have since lived in a tent, in our cars and in other peoples living rooms. Once we moved to a new place and he got outside. He was gone for 2 weeks, and I was very depressed. Amazingly and magically again, he came back, hungry for food and love. Finally a year and half ago, we got good and stable and have lived in the same home. He was settled and happy. Until about a week and half ago. I was so used to him meeting me at the door, loyal to me always, and chirping his hello. If I did not reach down and scratch his head he would follow me until I did. He was my boy, and I loved him so much.

Today is January 20, 2014. He had been very sicks for a little over a week. We took him to the vet and his x-rays and blood work came back pretty normal, but his head was tilted to the left and he could only walk in a counter-clockwise circle. He was weak on his feet and I could tell he wasn't happy anymore. Finally they decided that is must be neurological, possibly a blood clot in the brain. So this morning, knowing that I could not see him in pain and so sad anymore, I took him in and watched him fall asleep...forever.

I named him Miracle Andrew Storms. We gave him the honorary birthday of Feb. 9th. This year we would have celebrated as if he was turning 11.  I still love him and I always will. He was my small peice if magic in this cruel world. I have other cats, one who has been with me longer than Miracle, and they will comfort me now, but a part of me will always be missing.

Sleep peacefully and walk with light steps over the Rainbow Bridge. I love you My Magical Miracle.

My past does not rule me

I feel the need to talk about something from my past. I’ve been watching Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, and if you’re reading this, the statute of limitations is long, long past for me, so please, do ask me to report anything. I’m writing it here, because there is less traffic than if I were to post it on Facebook. I’m doing this more, because maybe someone out there can relate and heal just by knowing someone else was able to survive.

I was born in Calgary Alberta Canada but have been in Alaska for nearly 30 years. I am 36, and for the last 30 years I have had to deal with the knowledge that men who raped me never got arrested. I was somewhere between the ages of 3 and 4 the first time it happened. Bear with me, I may seem a little distracted and my story may jump around, this is hard for me to tell.

My mom was an alcoholic. She’s been sober nearly 30 years now, but she was sick, and I know now it was never her fault. She was with a group of friends, I know I was supposed to stay in the tent, but I snuck out and watched the fire. When I went back in I lay there and listened to the group laughing and drinking. The zipper on the tent opened and I thought it was my mom. Someone lay next to me, and then under the blankets a hand touched me. At first it was tentative, and I knew it wasn’t my mom. But then a male voice asked me “Can I play with you?” He told me to lie very still and not to say a word. He said my mom was right outside and if I didn’t let him play with me, she would be very mad.

            He put his fingers inside me, both sides, and even though I cried, he kept pushing. I don’t know if he did anything else to himself, but at some point he made noises and stopped. He called me a good girl and then left. I curled into a ball and I cried myself to sleep. The only thing I remember of the rest of that trip was my mom telling me to leave people alone, and stop pestering her. 

            Children are resilient and often bounce back no matter what they endure. I suppressed the memory, and went on being a child. My mother’s drinking got bad and she often hit me or used her belt, and I’m not sure what else might have happened, but the next bad memory I have was when a women came to the door and asked me where my mom was. When I told her mom was sleeping she told me that I needed to go with her. She was a social worker and my bruises had been reported, she took me to an office. I played for a while then I was taken to a house. A lady and man met us at the door and smiled and were very nice to me. The lady took me to a bedroom, and there was a beautiful pink bed with a canopy and lace and it was something a girl dreams about when she dreams of being a princess. There were toys and even some clothes and everything was frilly and fun.

            At some point in that next week I had an accident and wet my pants. The foster mom grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bathroom, where she made me strip and then told me to wash my clothes in the bathtub while I was naked in front of her. They had a son, and he came and she let him watch. I know now that the sexual abuse I had been through had made me susceptible to bladder infections, and at that age I pee'd my pants a lot. I remember crying and begging them to stop, but she turned the tap to freezing cold and just stared me down.

            I began to hate that room, and those pink lacy things. One day I was either out with them at someone else house, or it’s a room I don’t remember as being in the house, this is another memory I suppressed for so long. I was playing and the boy told me to come with him. We went into a room and he told me to get undressed and climb into the bed. He said we were going to pretend we were married. I only remember that he touched me and made me cry. I tried to tell, but again I was punished and for lying I was made to stand with my nose against a wall….and miss dinner.

            I know that while my mom drank, there were several times when I was put into foster care, and I recently sent a message to an archives person hoping to gain access to any police reports or social services findings. I think it’s only fair that I learn some of the things that I have suppressed to far that I may never truly remember them. I was once told that when a child suppresses memories they often suppress the good ones too. I don’t remember much about my childhood, but I remember some good things.

            I remember my mom taking me to Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm. I remember almost drowning in the hotel swimming pool because I wanted to use the slide and my mom was sleeping off a drunk. I remember the day she brought home a small little wiener dog, and named her Jasmine. I remember a tree near the apartment that I used to climb and look out at the world from. I also remember starting a fire under it one time after my mom had hit me. I remember searching for eggs on Easter and a house with a man who has Piranhas’.

            But I have many upsetting memories, as every child has. I once chased a group of dogs to a tree and climbed up and rescued the little cat they had chased. The poor thing bit me but I still carried her in my shirt passed the barking dogs and into the building I was staying at. I remember my mom leaving me with a couple of different people when she went out. One girl I knew who was a small statured and shy girl. Kids used to pick on her and I recall that I stood up for her. I think I might have started a fight, but I don’t know for sure. The girl later met me in middle school and treated me with disdain.

            Another girl whose mom worked in the canneries and the house always had a sort of fishy smell used to lock me out of her house just to laugh at me. She would give her mom and massage when her mom got home from work, and one day I was asked to do it, and the mom told me I did a better job than her daughter. I guess that’s why she thought it was funny locking me out in my jammies in the middle of the night. Their house was tucked back in the trees and fairly secluded. One time we were out walking and she thought we had gotten lost. But I have always had a knack for not getting lost in nature. I took her home.

            One group of kids of one of my mom’s drinking friends were especially cruel. There was an older girl and an older boy and I think a younger girl near my age. They often got stuck babysitting me. The little girl was very cruel and called me names or pushed me around. The older one just didn’t like me. One time they made prank calls and made me do a few. They threated to hang my dog Jasmine by her leashed and kill her if I didn’t. My mom would often tell me not listen to their words and then the next second to stop bothering her with little things. I tried to tell her about what the boy did. He took me into his room once, and he told me “Grown up boys need certain things, and only girls can give them what they need.” He said it was okay, but no one could know, because it was private. He placed me in his closet and took my pants off. He used his mouth mostly, and I hated it.

            I tried so many times to tell my mom not to send me there, but she never listened, her alcoholism was so severe. I have a horrible memory of him chasing me into the master bedroom and pinning me to the floor, I remember a lot of pain and when my saw bruises she listened, to a point. She didn’t believe me when I said he hurt me, that he had made lie still and let him use me. But she told her friend he had bruised my arms and that she didn’t want him around me anymore. He had raped me; I only remember the pain, because I can’t bring myself to remember the specifics. But I cried myself to sleep for weeks and I had nightmares for years after.

            I’m pretty sure that was near the time my mom finally went into recovery. I was placed in a very nice foster home. To this day I still call them and say hello. They were a great positive part of my past. They had a big house and there was a piano that I always played on. They had dogs and cats and the house was always warm and happy, and sometimes I wished I never had to leave.

            There was a trailer my mom took me to and I found a couple of dolls under a bed. They reminded me of Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls, but they were anatomically correct. I remember because the girl came in and found me playing with them and she freaked out. I asked her why they had the funny parts, but she just dragged me out of the room. I don’t know if anyone hurt me there, but I never forgot those weird dolls.

            I remember mom leaving someone with me, I remember that I thought her male friends were supposed to do things to me. So it seems it must have happened many more times than I remember. I climbed onto a chair and spread my legs, and I recall a man’s voice say “look she’s trying to tell you she wants you.” I don’t know if he did anything, but I recall the thoughts in my head, I was scared and yet worried mom wouldn’t love me if I didn’t le do the things.

            My mom had lived in apartments, with boyfriends and friends. I remember one house we called “The Broken House” it was back in the trees off a tiny little road from the main road going into Soldotna as if returning from Homer. The walls were cracked and the ceiling was caving in. I think there were pieces of wood holding the roof up and I remember often that the heat didn’t work. I had to help chop wood for the wood stove to keep warm and make my mom her coffee. I once saw a moose outside and to this day I’m positive I touched it. I waited late one time and when my mom still didn’t come I went out had tried to hitchhike down the road. I was lucky and a very good friend of my mom’s picked me up, instead of some bad person.

            When mom got out of recovery she met a guy and we packed up and moved to Oregon to be with him. We stopped at a gas station on the way and an amazing thing occurred. I stood outside in the sunshine and looked down the road and there was a clear line on the road, where it was still raining. I often wonder where that station is, it would be neat to find out if that happened often there. Mom’s boyfriend got mad at me for touching his computer and almost hit me, she left him then. Sometime later she had a breakdown. I don’t know if she started drinking or not, because I placed in another foster home. I don’t know how many foster homes I was in, I tell people 7, because it’s a number in my head, but it may not be accurate. We moved a lot, and in the Kenai area alone I know I went to at least 5 different schools. I tell people I have been to nearly 29 schools from the kindergarten to college. But the truth is I don’t know. That might something else I can find out about, maybe there is a way to track the school records.

            I’m 36 now, I’m married to a man who never forces me and hold me close when I need him to. I have a wife who I love and adore. I’m blessed with to amazing children, my son who is so smart he’s been put into the gifted program called Ignite, and my daughter who just started school and yet if in the top 4 of the learning scales. They make me very proud. But I don’t spend enough time with them; I’ve convinced myself somehow that I can’t handle them alone. I don’t know if it’s because of my past, but they need me, and I’m going to try harder.

This has been a hard thing for me to write, I’ve related the events to the best of my knowledge. Some memories are just snap images in my mind, others are full on sound, smell and feel, and those are the ones I hate. I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Chronic Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and something called Vaginismus. I’m on an antidepressant as well as a sleep aid that prevents me from dreaming. I have nightmares so bad that I have lashed out and hurt my husband. I avoid sex, and have become almost a-sexual because of the pain from penetration. I have lost a few boyfriends because I couldn’t stand having sex.

But I’m alive. I have never turned to drugs or alcohol. I went through a phase of using men, and using the sex they wanted as a tool to control them. And over time I have learned how to appreciate myself and forgive myself. Thank you for reading my short autobiography, and I hope that somewhere, this might help someone else know that you aren’t alone and it’s possible to live a life with smiles and love. Blessed Be.

Dreamwalker By Jassz : Chapter 2: Safety Net (Caution: Sexually Explicit Content)

Chapter 2: SAFETY NET

It was December 9^th, I remembered this day clearly, but the world didn’t seem as big as I remember, so this must have been a dream. I looked around thinking that Zacharia might be here too, but instead I saw the nightmare beginning. My brother Jason was just 6. He was so small, and so full of energy. Grama told us to stay away from the creek, because it could crack and we could fall in. Sarah and I were usually good about listening to her. Jason on the other hand, he fought her tooth and nail whenever she said not to do something. He was an angry child, and he had good reason, he didn’t really remember mom and dad and he sometimes had nightmares, even though he hadn’t been there or seen what happened. None of us had, but we all had nightmares, about what we thought might have happened, because the imagination of a child is stronger than most anything else.

Jason snuck out just after dinner. It was starting to get dark, but  he wanted to play near the water. I was in my room, and not paying attention. I was 10, and the world revolved around me. Sarah was more cautious and often saw things others didn’t. She was the one who discovered he wasn’t in the house. She came to me first, thinking I would be the more responsible, because she didn’t want to get her brother into trouble. But I just got angry and told her he deserved to get what ever happened to him and then I toned her out. I sat in my room stewing and angry because I was tired of taking care of my little brother and his trouble making games. But my conscience got the better of me and I told Grama what Sarah had told me.

We all got our stuff on and went out looking for him. I headed right to the creek, I was sure that was where he would have gone. Grama went into the back yard and the shed. We had built a sort of clubhouse in the rafters of the shed, and sometimes Jason would sneak out, and we would find him there the next morning because he had fallen asleep. Sarah went next door to tell the neighbors. Mr. and Mrs. Andrews and their son Tommy, who was in the same grade as I, often had dinner with us. Tommy and I were pretend dating by that time.

When I got to the bank of the creek I saw Jason, he had thrown a rock onto the ice and I could see a dark hole in it. I was about to holler to Grama and say I found him when he stepped out onto the ice. I screamed at him to stop, but I don’t think he heard me. He took another small step forward and I began running, and yelling. He finally heard me and looked at me, he had a big grin of triumph on his face. He was so proud of himself for making a hole in the ice. But my voice distracted him and then he slipped. I've always blamed myself. Before I could get to him, before I could call for help, he slid right into that damn hole. By the time I got there, not more than a few seconds, he had been pulled under, and I couldn’t see him.

I ran looking for rocks and sticks, anything I could find to break the ice, and I started hitting the ice as hard and as fast as I could. By that time Sarah had figured things out and had Mr. Andrews with her. Grama was running towards me, and they hollered asking me what had happened. I was so distraught I couldn’t answer. I had to get a new hole, I had to catch up to him. I had to save my little brother or he was going to die. Mrs. Andrews called the police and took them at least 20 minutes to get there. By that time he had been in the icy water for almost a half hour. Grama had to pull me away and hold me, I kept trying to break the ice. I was sobbing by that time. It wasn’t fair that he was gone, he couldn’t be gone, not so soon after losing my mom and dad.

The police cordoned off the area, and the fire fighters cracked the ice with the big hammers and their muscles. They found his body almost a mile down, and caught in some old branches from a fallen tree, about three feet under the water. The creek wasn’t big, it was maybe 6 feet wide. But it ran a long gambit through the city. I hated that creek afterwards. I hated it so much. It took me months to get back a semblance of normalcy, but Sarah and I were never the same. We became closer, and looked out for each other in everything. No one picked on us at school, because we beat the crap out of them. My sister wasn’t really a fighter, but she did hit a guy once for standing me up over an ice cream date after school. The year she found out she was gay, I got suspended for a week. A boy who thought it would be funny had spray pained her locker and pushed her in the hallway. I broke his jaw with my fist.

I stood there looking at the river from my past. I remembered that night and I shivered. It was a dream so I didn’t feel the cold, but the memory made me feel it. I turned and looked at the house and I saw movement. At first I thought maybe it was a neighbor’s dog, but this was my dream, shouldn’t I know. I watched closer and I saw a small figure sneak out the gate from our side of the duplex. It was Jason, he was so small. He hunched down so that Grama couldn’t see him under the livingroom window and past the Andrews window and down to the creek behind us. How was this possible, I had never seen it from this point of view. I followed him all the same. Wishing in my heart that I could change things here in my dream and then wake up and find him alive.

The night was twilight, just enough light to see the ground under my feet, but not enough to tell how much snow I would have to trump through 5 feet in front of me. I wondered how he could see in this, his little eyes must have strained just to see  and not trip and fall.Of course her tripped then, and I wanted to run up to him and help him up. He stood up, brushed the snow form his pants and I saw that he didn’t have snow pants on. He must have been so cold already, he never would have had a chance falling in that water wearing what he was in now. It hurt so much to see this. He kept going though, he was so stubborn and head strong. He got to the edge where the land gradually sloped instead of being a bank, and he looked around. I watched him stand on tip toe and spy something further up the bank.

I got closer, trying not to make too much noise. I didn’t  know if he could hear me here or not. I was afraid if he heard me then I might want to change things, and then know how much it would hurt when I woke up and found it was just all a dream. I wasn’t sure I could watch it all, this was already hurting so much. He found a rock, as big as his little head and I saw him struggle with it. He pulled and pushed and kicked at it, and finally it budged. I wondered what must be in his mind to work so hard for such a big rock. He pushed it about and finally got it to roll down to the creekside. He finally realized it was too big for him to lift and throw, and I almost giggled with relief.

But it didn’t stop him. He had been out here for a good 5 minutes now. Sarah was telling me about him missing right about now. He walked back up the little hill and searched again and starts putting rocks into the pockets of his house coat. He was in his pajama’s, I didn’t remember that part. Goddess, had to be cold. I groaned a little in worry, and fear. He didn’t react to the sound, and I figured maybe I wasn’t there for him, and it really was a vision. He found another rock, about half the size as the other and he managed to lift it. He strained as he carried it and almost fell backwards a couple of times. He got to the edge and looked around as if worried that someone might have heard him. He put the big rock down and I could tell he was tired, and I saw him shiver then.

He pulled all the littler rocks out of his pockets and began to throw them into the creek. Most of them bounced off the ice and barely chipped it. He got mad and threw one as hard as his little arm could, and it cracked the ice. The crack made such a noise that he jumped, startled by the noise. The night was dark now, and the snow made the area seem ethereal from the reflection of the moonlight. He mustered his courage and picked up the big rock, he tottered to the edge and swung a few times before letting go. He must have been lucky because it hit with a thud, and then there was a crackling sound and the rock slid a few feet and suddenly the ice below it opened up and the rock plopped it. He had to walk at least 3 feet onto the ice just to look into the hole.

He began collecting the little rocks and this was when I remembered him, he heard my voice and was so pleased that someone would see his handiwork, not caring he would get into trouble for it. He turned towards me and his face got startled. He looked right at me, not the little me, the me now. I was startled too and suddenly looked around and was confused for a moment. “Can you see me?” I asked. He jumped form the sound of my voice, and then he slipped. For a moment I was living that nightmare again, but then there was a strong wind from behind me and Zacharia grabbed Jason before he fell into the water. My eyes were full of tears, my heart was in my throat and then I realized what was happening. I ran forward and grabbed Jason, sobbing and breathing heavy I hugged him close and could feel him stiffen in fear.

“This is a dream, I know it is, because in the real story, you fall into the water, and I lose you. I can’t keep losing you, I miss you so much!” I was crying on his hair, and then he pulled away and looked at myface.

“Becca? How did you get so old?” he asked in that voice that all children have. So quiet and innocent and pure. I laughed, and wiped my face and looked back at him. I didn’t really know what to say and I looked up at Zacharia and I wasn’t sure what to say to him either.

In a softer voice, and dryer eyes I told him “I’m in my mid 20s now, and you’ve been dead over 10 years. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, and I don’t want to scare you.” I was prattling, a sign I was getting nervous and scared. He looked at me with his big brown eyes, eyes like moms.

“Becca, how can I be dead, you’re right here. Did you see the hole I made! The rock was big, but not as big as the other one, it was even bigger and I rolled it all the way here…Becca, how did you know I was here?” He was so innocent. The tears began again, I stood and I looked at Zacharia.

“What do I do? This is a dream. When I wake up he won’t be there, and this will all be a fantasy. I’m not sure I can handle this. Why did you save him? How could you do this to me?” I was getting angry, and this whole thing wasn’t fair. I looked down at Jason and I told him not to be scared. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I can’t help you anymore, you have to go home now. And I’m going to go to. Please don’t go back to the creek. I don’t want to see you die again.” I closed my eyes and willed my dream to end, and for me to wake up. It had worked before, but when I opened my eyes, I was still there. Jason stood looking at me. His little face was perplexed and he lifted his eyebrow, like Sarah did and Zacharia too.

He turned around and then he saw Zacharia, “Hi, I’m Jason. Do you know my big sister?” I smiled, he was so cute. What kind of person would he have grown up to be? I looked at Zacharia and waited to hear his answer.

“I’m Zacharia, and yes, I know your sister, she is a very good friend of mine. I know you don’t really understand, but you can remember this day, and maybe help her get through this.” He had knelt down to Jason’s level to talk to him. I didn’t understand what he meant, but then Jason turned his bright smiling face to me and I wanted to hold him again. I knelt down and opened my arms and he came to me. I put my arms around him and held him for a moment and then he pushed away, his face was very determined, and then it got sad.

“I remember, I do, but I was trying not to. I thought this was real for a minute, I hoped it was. Becca, you almost saved me. I stepped on one of my rocks, that’s what made me slip. It wasn’t your fault. And I don’t hate you. I love you very much and I watch you and Sarah sometimes. I know you miss me” I was crying now. I had no idea, I had always thought that I had distracted him and made him slip. I hadn’t cared at first that he was missing in the first place. I had hated a part of myself. “Becca, please tell Sarah I miss her too. And tell Grama, that even though I wasn’t here long, she taught me so much, and I knew I was loved. Please Becca, don’t cry. It wasn’t your fault. I’m happy where I am. And I’ll be happier now, because I got to say I love you, and say good bye. Good bye big sister. And thank you.”

He turned away and walked to the hole in the ice. I rushed forward, I couldn’t let him go, I couldn’t let him fall in again. But just as I reached him, he vanished. He didn’t fall in, he was just gone. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Zacharia. I fell into his arms and I cried. I cried so hard and for so long. When I finally stopped and went to wipe my eyes, I found myself curled up on the bed on his arms. I curled in tighter and let myself sleep. Zacharia never left, he held me the entire night and let me feel his arms around me, a safety net from memories.

When I came to later the next day, Zacharia had gotten up and was cooking again. I smelled eggs and bacon and possibly fresh bread. I marveled at my luck in finding a man with such a talent. I rolled over and he was right there knelling down to my face. I startled because I could have sworn I heard him in the kitchen just a minute ago. He smiled gently at me, and brushed my hair back behind my ear. “How are you feeling love?” he asked in a soft voice, which only made my body tighten and remember what he had done with me earlier the night before. I smiled back at him, a little smile to say I was better. He took my hand as I sat up and then he sat beside me and put his arm around me. I leaned on him and placed my head on his shoulder.

“Did you know? Did you know he would remember I mean?” I asked it out to the room, staying against him with my hair hanging a little over my face. I waited for a response and I knew the answer, but I felt I needed to hear it from him.

“Yes. It’s a talent of Dreamwalking. You can sometimes talk to a memory in a dream, and pull their spirit into the form in the memory. You can talk to them, and it often helps. I’ve done it a few times, usually to help someone, like with you. I didn’t know what he would say, but I hoped it would be something that would help you. I am sorry that it hurt you.” He was looking down at me, and so I looked up. His eyes were full of compassion and love. It was so strange to see those in his eyes. It wasn’t something I thought I would ever really see aimed at me. A tear fell from my eye and he pulled me in tighter and let me cry again.

I stayed in and rested the remainder of the day. He called Michael and had him bring some more groceries and a clean change of clothes for himself, and he just stayed with me, a presence of peace and strength. Every time the memories would surface he would hold me again. I finally got up the courage to call Sarah and I asked her if she remembered that I was Wiccan. And then I asked her to keep an open mind and just hear me out. I told her the whole thing, except that Zacharia had saved him from falling in the hole, and that it was Zacharia’s talent that had pulled Jason’s spirit there to talk to me. She heard me out and I could tell she was crying. She asked me if I was sure, for sure that I had really talked to him. I confirmed that I felt it in my whole heart and soul, and she accepted it. She told me to meet her at Grama’s, because she felt we needed to tell Grama together. Zacharia drove me over himself.

It was kind of strange being in the front seat of that sedan and having Zacharia driving. It was a new experience for us, and another show of his down to earth-ness. We pulled up and Sarah came out of the door, she smiled nicely to Zacharia and pulled me into a hug. I started crying again. Sheila was there too, and I guess Sarah had told her some of it, because she went up to Zacharia and pulled him into the house. She must have introduced him to Grama because when Sarah and I came in, both of us wiping tears, Grama stood up and looked right at Zacharia and I could see she was about to lay into him. I had to act fast before she got started, or we might not be able to do what I needed to do.

“Grama, please this isn’t his fault. In fact it his help that has made it possible for me to even be here right now. Please, I need to talk to you, we, me and Sarah need to talk to you. You taught me that religion was in ones heart, and no matter what anyone else believed, if it was in your heart, then it was right for you. I’ve been practicing Wicca for a few years. You knew that. I believe in spirits and supernatural beings and maybe even a little in magic itself.” I looked at Zacharia when I said that, and Grama was smart enough to catch the look. She looked at me and said she was listening. So I told her about Dreamwalking, and the possibility of talking to a spirit, and I told her the same story I had told Sarah. Then I told them both that it had been Zacahria who had help me while I cried and who had been my safety net while I grieved.

Grama surprised me, but by now I should have known she would. “Rebecca girl, you knows I have faith in the Lord, but I wasn’t raised to believe just in him. I knows abouts Spirits and fairies. And I think I knows who your new beaux is. I havn’t decided yet if I trusts him though. But I’s believes you. I knowd Jason didn’t die from you’re callin to him. He was a good boy, and I knows he watches us. I feels him somatime. Yous gotta let go your hurt girl, and move on wch your life. And so longs as your man treats you good, I won’t hex him.” She added a smile at Zacharia with the end of that. I was speechless. I looked at Sarah and realized she had caught what Grama had said. I knew she didn’t know, but now her curiosity was peaked.  I wondered what Grama knew and I knew that I would have to have a talk with her and find out just what she knew or thought she knew. Zacharia didn’t seem perturbed so I didn’t raise the issue then. That was a can of worms I really didn’t want to get into with Sarah and Sheila in the room.

We had tea and talked about Jason, Grama brought out the scrapbooks again and Zacharia got to hear about more of my life. Sheila sat back and listened. She had heard much of this before, because she and Sarah had been dating for nearly 2 years now. She laughed when we pulled Zacharia into some of our memory games. It was the who could shock him more by the stories we told of each other. Grama would sometimes interject when we got a detail wrong, but spending time there, and reliving some of the more fun times, it helped a lot. Grama got up and went to make dinner, when Zacharia got up and followed her. Sarah cocked her eyebrow after him and then turned on me.

“What’s he doing? Grama’s will have a cow if he tried to tell her how to cook or something.” I knew that, but she didn’t know he COULD cook, well not the way he could anyways. I told her I wasn’t worried, and that caused her to start to the what do I really know about my boyfriend speech. Sheila got in on this one, she was concerned too. After all the last time they had seen me I had been all teary eyes and confused about him. I hedge around some of the more pointed parts, and I hinted at the exquisite night of sex. That was the turning point, I actually managed to get them off topic and then they wanted to know all the juicy details. I of course didn’t get detailed, but I made some remarks, and got some giggles and oohs from them. By the time we were all laughing we heard Grama holler.

All three of us jumped up and ran to the kitchen. I was worried she was going to pull a knife on Zacharia, and I am sure Sarah and Sheila thought he was trying to kill her, but when we all fell through the swinging door we found her laughing and patting his shoulder while he was bent over the cutting board. We all looked rather silly, Sheila had grabbed Sarah before she fell to the floor, so they were on their knees and I was hanging on the door and we all looked ridiculous. Grama hollered again and we realized she was laughing so hard she almost hyperventilating. It started a new host of giggles and Zacharia came to my rescue at the door way and was laughing too.

His deep gravelly laugh made my skin crawl and tingle, he lifted me up and over my sisters head and both she and Sheila were astounded by the shear strength of him picking me up and setting me on my feet. He turned around and offered his hands to the girls and found them both with their jaws on the floor.

“My GAWD! How did you do that! You’re like the hulk or something!” That was Sheila. She was pulling Sarah to her feet, and was too stunned to accept Zacharia’s hand of help. Grama came around and tisked at us. She ushered us back out of the kitchen saying that she and the young man were busy and not to worry about her. I was so relieved to see them getting along so well. It made me wonder again at what Grama knew, but if she was this cool about it, maybe I didn’t have much to worry about.

Sobered up a little, the 3 of us went back into the living room and sat around the coffee table once more. Sarah snuggled up to Sheila and they kissed. I thought it was so sweet, and I had never been anything but happy for my sister. Sheila whispered in Sarahs ear and I saw Sarah blush. At first I thought they might be being naughty, and I wanted to get u p and leave. It’s one thing to be happy to see them kiss, but if they started making out and whispering sweet nothings, I really didn’t need to watch that. I wasn’t much of a voyeur. Sarah turned to face me and got a little serious.

“Becca, you remember that I had 3 offers for internship that start in the fall?” I nodded yes, she looked at Sheila and they both took a deep breath. I knew she had decided to take one of the ones that would make her leave state. I could tell by the way she was being so cautious about it. I think she may have been excited to tell me, but after this revalation about Jason, she wasn’t sure how I would take it. “We decided the one in New Jersey is the best course for me. They are offering me a slightly higher rate, and they offered me a 3 year contract, and they promised it was unbreakable. I read the paperwork, and had Sheila’s dad look at it. You know, because he’s lawyer and all. Sheila already talked to her boss and they think they have an opening they can transfer her to. We leave on the 28^th, so basically, in a bout a week. I was going to take you out and tell you, but now seems as good a time as any. Well, what do you think?”

I was a little saddened, but I also had expected that this might happen. Indianapolis is a great city, but there are more options the futher east you go. I was happy for her too, because it would be a wonderful boost for her career. “Of course I’m happy for you, crazy lady! Wow, New Jersey! Goddess, I don’t know anything about what’s over there. We will have to try to work Christmases so that you come home at least every other year. And it may be a 3 years contract now, but they are going to love you and you’ll be editor before your tenure is finished.” We laughed over that, and she seemed happy to know I was happy for her. She and Sheila seemed very excited about it, and I didn’t want to spoil the mood.

Grama and Zacharia came out of the kitchen soon after announcing dinner would be done in about 30 minutes, and we all sat down again. Sarah broke the news to Grama and she was so happy she cried. We all got to talking about holidays, if the girls might drive over to Washinton DC and get legally married. Sarah shrugged, she hadn’t really gotten that far  on that thought. Sheila winked at me and I tried to hide my smile. Sheila had come to me a month or so ago, she had bought a ring and was going to ask Sarah the big question. But she didn’t know how. I told her to do it at a family dinner, and to invite some friends. Now that they had a date for when they planned to leave, I knew Sheila would be making phone calls to arrange a small party of friends and family for the event.

We ate and then we said our goodbyes and promised to get together at least once more before the girls left. Grama pulls Zacharia aside and when he came out to me, he was smiling. We got into his car and he drove us back to my place. Once again it was a Sunday night and we both had to be at work in the morning. Before we got to my place he pulled off into a small parking lot and told me to get out with him. I got out and he reached out his hand and we walked down the street to a small store in the Chinatown district. I wasn’t sure what we were doing, but he seemed to know and I trusted him. I looked around, it was fascinating, I had never been in this part of town. The authentic shops were very bright and everyone was small and spoke so fast I couldn’t have understood them even if I did know some Chinese or Japanese.

Zacharia pulled me into the little shop whose window had characters of some Asian language and there was a little bell that chimed as the door opened. The small man behind the counter looked up and at first seemed like he didn’t care, another customer, woohoo, then he noticed Zacharia and he stood up. “Ah, Meester Foldwere, eet ees good to see you again. How can I help you?” The little man had a very distinct Japanese accent, and it was a little hard to understand his English. Zacharia spoke to the man in what I assume is Japanese and I shook my head at myself. He spoke Greek that first night we met, how could have not know he probably spoke Japanese, and Chinese and Mexican and every other language in the world. I would have to ask him how many languages he really could speak.

The man went behind a beaded curtain and I could hear him going through some stuff, I looked around the store and saw that it was kind of an antique store, but for Asian collectors. Fans, dolls, statues of Buddha like things and bells, there a lot of different sizes of bells. When he came out he has a little box, and he handed it to Zacharia. I went over and look around his shoulder to see. He was too fast for me of course and I didn’t see what was in it. Zacharia paid the man and we went out. He bought me an interesting pastry from a street vendor that was sweet and sticky, and we went back to the car. He kept the box in sight, but out of reach. And he wouldn’t stop smiling.

We got back to my place and we walked in and took the elevator. It was a slow ride and I was preoccupied with guessing what was in the box. So far he had bought me roses and chocolates, and dinners. He hasn’t given me anything else. I thought it might be a necklace or a bracelet, or some other piece of jewelry. I prepared myself to be surprised and pleased. We got into my room and I was shocked still at the state of the room. The feeling of hope and happy thoughts flew out the window. My room had been tossed, someone had been in there and tore it apart. What ever they were looking for I wondered if they found it, because I had no idea what anyone could possibly want from me. Zacharia helped me pick things us and assess the damage.

“Sweety, come stay with me for a few days. Get away from this, this mess. I have an extra room if you want it. I don’t sleep in a coffin. We can come deal with this later, when we are both not tired and stressed.” His choice of words made me think, he had been with me now for 2 whole days and 2 nights, he must be hungry. And he right, I really didn’t want to stay here now, not after finding it all rifled through. The big shelf that I had turned into a closet was even turned over and all my clothes were strewn about. I grabbed a big bag and began to throw some stuff into it. I went into my chest and took out the special blanket my dad had given me before he died, it went with me if I travelled. I got things from my bathroom and then looked around.

“You know, there isn’t anything here that’s really personal. I never really left Grama’s. All my important things are there, in boxes. I never got around to bringing them here. I have a mug I like and the few things in the chest. But I don’t even have pictures up. Why would someone trash my place? I don’t have anything valuable, and I certainly don’t know anyone whose…dangerous…Oh…” I look at him, and remembered when he told me that being with him might get dangerous. I had forgotten that it might happen. I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. Zacharia put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I was a healthy 5’7” and he was at least 6’1”, but I felt safer there in his arms. We made sure that the fridge had nothing that might go bad and locked up behind us and left it all behind.

When we got to the house Zacharia took me upstairs and showed me his room and a guest room. I opted to use the guest room for now, just because it was still fairly new in our relationship to be living together. He left me alone and went down to talk to Micheal and Adam. I assumed they would discuss my apartment and what to do about it. Part of me didn’t want to know any of it, maybe if I just ignored it, it would go away. I put away the clothes in the lovely dresser and put a few things into the bathroom next to it. It seemed that each of the bathrooms had their own bathroom. That was convenient. I decided I should go talk to Zacharia and find out what he planned to do about my apartment, and if he had nay idea of what it might be about.

As I walked down the stairs I could hear them talking near the door. Zacharia was asking Micheal to make a few calls about something. I stopped when I came down from the landing and looked at the three of them. Zacharia looked up me and grinned. Then he told the boys that I would be spending a few days with them. Adam looked at me and I’m sure he wasn’t happy about this, but micheal said welcome to me and smiled. He told me that there was some left overs if I was hungry, or they could order something. I told him I was fine, we had eaten at my grandmothers. He was gracious and kind. Adam walked away down to the kitchen and out of sight. I looked at Zacharia and tilted my head.

“Its all right Sweety, Adam takes time to trust people. He worries about exposing me and calling attention to my enemies, although it looks like we may have done so intentionally. Come down and sit with me, I want to tell you what your Grama told me, and give you something.” That perked me up. I came the rest of the way down and we sat on the big comfy couch with its peach, burgundy and green floral pattern. I realized the furniture was exactely like the ones in the dream room where Zacharia had kissed me the first time. I sat turned towards him our knees touching. He leaned back and handed me the box, but said to wait before opening it.

“You’re Grama is a smart woman. She knew the difference between vampire and Vampyre. I was pleased. I was worried at first, but she told me something that only a few are told. Something I haven’t told you yet, and I can’t, not yet. But if we stay close and I hope we do, I will tell you someday. For now though, she did remind me of an item that can create a stronger bond, stronger with the blood bond than without. Open it.” He sat back and leaned on the back of the couch. He looked a little smug and I wasn considering pretending to be surprised by the pretty trinket he was about to give me. I open the box, and my mouth dropped open. I had thought it might be a necklace, or earrings but I hadn’t expected…a rock. It was a small stone, it fit nicely in my palm, and it was a rich blue. I’ve seen pictures of lakes that were so cold they glowed a brilliant blue. This rock was that color, and the colors inside it moved with life, as if it were breathing.

I could see some greens and more shades of blue swirling in its center, and it did glow. The room had gotten darker as the night decended further and I realized I could see the rock clearly, while it was still in the box. I pulled it out and held it, and I gasped. It was warm, and it pulsed. I could feel 2 beats in it and I looked at Zacharia, wonderingly. He smiled, and reached out his hand and placed it over the rock on top of my hand. That was when I realized the 2 beats, were his heart and mine. “You’re heart beats…isn’t being a Vampyre mean your dead, kind of?” He shook his head almost like one might to a young child with foolish questions.

“No, I’m a living vampire, that is another difference. We are made without draining the life from the body. I have never died. This stone detects our beats, but with a small ritual it will beat with only our hearts beats for as long as you will it. And if you carry it with you at all times, I will always be able to find you, no matter how you might be concealed.” That comment made me a little nervous. I asked if he thought I might need it for that, but he shrugged the question off. I think hehoped it wouldn’t come to that. So did I, and I looked more closly to the stone, I wondered how I would conceal this while I’m at work and such. Leaving it in my purse would possibly be too far away, what if I was separated from it. Zacharia, always seeming to know what I want thinking, pulled out a small bag on a leather necklace. Well, it was a necklace after all. The pouch was beautifully embroidered and seemed very old. He placed the stone into it and then stood up. He offered his hand and he led upstairs, to his room.

I sat on his bed as he grabbed something from one of the many armoirs. His room was the largest, and it could have had 5 king sized beds and still had room to have a large party of people hanging out. He unfolded a cloth and put a small vial in the center of the unfolded cloth. I recognized the pattern from the pouch. It was almost pagan. It was a circle, split in four, with black, red, white and yellow sections. In the center was 3 overlapping cirlces of blue, green and purple. Around the outside was a celtic type braided vine with pink flowers which had orange centers. The embroidery on the pouch was much smaller and not quite so detailed.

He put an unlit candle on the right, a dagger on the bottom and an empty bowl to the left. I was reminded more of a Wiccan ritual and I asked if I could help. He declined and opened the little vial. He poured some dirt onto the first square, he lit the candle and then blew it out while the smoke fell onto the right side of the circle, then he pricked his finger and dropped 3 drops of blood to the bottom, and lastly from another vial, put water into the bowl, and sprinkled some water onto the left side. He then looked at me, “I need you to repeat what I just did. Can you remember, I can help it you need.” I shook my head, I had this.

“Earth, the dirt, the one thing that makes us and then receives us back when we leave the mortal world. It is knowledge incarnate. Air, the giver of life and the teacher, the one who shares and spreads the knowledge. Fire, our blood, because it is the fire that stokes our spirit and gives us the motivation to live. And lastly, water, the one who washes our sins and helps us leave no regrets by recycling all that we learned.” I then took my blooded finger and placed it in the center, he smiled, and placed his finger next to mine where our blood would then mix. I had done similar rituals in my studies. But I had never seen the alter or alter cloth begin to glow. It was a shallow white, it didn’t hurt my eyes, but it was beautiful to see. He removed his finger and so did I, then he placed the stone in the center of the light, which entered the stone and suddenly fractured into a million little rainbows all over the walls and ceiling.

He then grabbed me so fast I squealed, and then he started to kiss me. I didn’t really understand, but I was so distracted by the feel of his lips on mine and the memories of the night before that I forgot about the circle and the stone. He was caressing me and then he was kissing my neck and playing with my bottons. I was on his lap and he growled when he realized that my shirt had tiny little buttons up the back and not the front. His growl deepened and suddenly he tore the shirt. I knew I would be upset later, when I wasn’t melting into his hands. He lay me under him on the bed and began to pay attention to my breasts while he kissed me from shoulder to shoulder. His hands cupped first one breast then the other, and then he whipped us around and I was above him.

He had better access to my breasts now and he pulled my bra off. He sat and looked for a minute at me, making me blush then his hands slowly caresses up from my hips, and then cupped my breasts again, and then his fingers brushed the nipples. The reaction was my body twitching and my hips rocking. His reaction was to grow harder beneath me and growl again. He took both nipples between his fingers and squeezed just hard enough to make me rock again, then he pulled on them. I gasped and twitched and rocked again. He moaned then and pulled himself up grabbing ahold of my right breast with his mouth.

He suckled the nipple, tickling it with his tongue, brushing it with his thumb between his lips, then using his teeth to gently nip it. I gasped a little louder, and rocked more, I was beginning to rock in a rhythm, and he wasn’t stopping me. My hands were on his back as his mouth continued to tease at my nipple and I untied his hair. I wrapped one hand into it and pulled it back, he came up from my breast with a growl and his eyes were beginning to tinge red, but I made him kiss me, which caused a wonderful reaction. His hardness throbbed between my legs and the other hand pinched the nipple harder as he kissed me back, and then he rolled us up and I was under him again.

He pulled at my slacks and had them off faster than before, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t rip them. His fingers found my nether parts and parted my lips, slowly pushing around, soaking up my wetness. I moaned into his shoulder as he was watching his hand. He turned his head and kissed me, and then pulled up on my nipple rolling it between his fingers, and the he pushed his fingers up inside me, stroking me in strong full motions, back and forth. I was already climbing the hill, when he bit my nipple. The slight pain pushed me over the edge, I called out his name. His fingers moved a little deeper and faster, and his thumb began to rub the little nub that creates so strong a reaction that I began to gasp. All the while he is sucking and pulling up on my nipples, back and forth and pulling my hair causing me to arch back onto the bed under him.

He let go of my hair and moved down, grabbed my hips and pulled my body up to his mouth and attacked my wet lips. He sucked on the nub and used his tongue to help drive his fingers deeper and stronger. I was writhing and he grabbed my hips harder to keep me from sliding away. He got me so high I felt I might never come down, my voice began to beg him not to stop. He rocked his fingers and used his tongue to push me over the brink. Then he pulled me up and rolled us back so that I was  straddling him. I was over him and on him and then he was inside me. He looked me in the eyes and I felt the spark, suddenly I was drowning in the sensation.

I could see myself above him, rocking, I could feel the heat around him and the friction as my body moved in the rhythm that he had us at. The sight of my breasts bouncing as I moved and my hair loose and plastering against my breast and back made him harder and then he growled. He put a finger down on the nub and began to rub it while I rocked above him. I could feel him throbbing inside me, it was like being rubbed and sucked at once, and his other hand began to tease a nipple. I was beginning to climb, feeling his sensations, and feeling my own tinglings, I couldn’t control the climb, I was there and then he raised his head to grab a breast in his mouth which pushed himself deeper, hitting that spot…I climaxed so hard I nearly fell off him. He drug the climax out by suckling the nipple and pulling on it, his other finger still tickling my nub. I shuddered, unable to completely finish with him teasing me still. I knew that this wasn’t the end, and I smiled down at him.

This time I growled.

I slept soundly that night in his bed. It was a very large 4 poster bed with black gauze drapes. The windows had heavy velvet curtains in a deep blood red that kept a majority of the daylight out. Zacharia held me through out the night. I had a few dreams that left me crying a little, but I didn’t wake fully. He told me about it later. We woke early, and used our separate showers to get ready. He drove me into the city and dropped me at work. My day was bright and I was happy. I was worried about what happened with my apartments, but knowing Zacharia was there to watch over me made me feel safe.

I had woke up to find the roll cloth and the stone had been under us the whole night, somehow he had removed the dagger and vials from the bed before he jumped me. I still felt amazed at some of his powers. How did he hide them out here in the world that didn’t know the real him? I filed and answered phones and was smiling most of the day. I felt a twinge a couple of times, and when I concentrated I realized I was feeling Zacharia’s emotions. It was amazing. I thought about my sister a couple of times, but that just made me smile because I knew she wasn’t going to be alone. Sheila really loved her. The end of the day couldn’t come any faster. I practically raced down the hallway and out the building to him. He was waiting for me and I threw myself into his arms. I kissed him deeply, not caring that the whole world of lawyers and tight ass idiots saw the whole thing.

We stayed in and had a nice meal, he ordered in for change and had some work to do. I sat and read while he worked on some things in his office upstairs. Adam came in at some point and pointedly looked at me. I looked back and was tempted to stand up and follow him to ask him what his problem was. But Zacharia had asked me to give him time to adjust to our relationship. So I sat where I was and tried to go back to my book. The house phone rang and I got distracted and tried to hear Adam from in the kitchen. I heard him slam the phone down and then he came running back and up the stairs. That worried me so I dropped the book and ran up the stairs behind him. When I entered the room he stopped talking, but Zacharia told him to continue.

“Mr. Wayling sold you a box yesterday, you were seen entering the leaving the shop. Somehow someone knew you were heading that way. They found out Rebecca’s name and it was easy to find where she lived. I’ve sent a man to watch her Sister and her Grandmother just in case. They think it might be Heldren. If it is, the last time you two fought, we had to move out of the country for almost 20 years. Sir, this could be a very bad time to be…thinking about other things.” He looked right at me when he said that last part. I moved in close to Zacharia and just looked back at Adam.

“Who is Heldren? Adam, I know you are worried for Zach, but please, I want to help if I can.” I tried to assuage his fears, knowing he wouldn’t listen, but I wanted to try for Zacharia’s sake. I could almost see the vien in his neck jumping with annoyance. I squeezed Zacharia’s arm and left. I could tell that Adam didn’t want to talk about it in front of me. I went downstairs and decided to call my sister. It might be good to give her a little bit of a heads up.

“Hi Sarah, have you guys decided when and where to have our last get together before you leave?”   

“Oh, My God Rebecca, Yes! Sheila is Amazing, she rented ‘The Spot’ for us. Isn’t she fabulous?”

“Yeah, wow, that’s awesome! Listen I have to tell you something. Some guy who Zach put away got out, and he trashed my place, the cops have been called and are checking into it, but Zach has a couple of buddies on the force and so someone will be by your place a couple of times to just make sure nothing happens, okay?”

She was quiet a moment, “Bec, is it safe to be at your place…wait, this is your phone number, Oh my God, are you at ‘HIS’ house?? Ooooh, Girl, you making naughty with the law boy? Haha, its okay, no one has bothered us, but I’ll let Sheila know. Wednesday at ‘The Spot’, 6pm..okay, don’t forget! I love you” Then she hung up. I called Grama and left a similar message. I felt a little better, but I was worried now too. Was this guy going to hurt my family? I went up stairs again to talk to Zacharia, and found he was gone. I sat at his desk for a minute thinking about things when I noticed a paper on his desk.

1450 Parkland Dr. 3pm Heldren Estates Mngr

Was Zacharia going to meet this guy? Why didn’t He tell me? I got up and went to find Micheal, I wondered if he has an extra car. I couldn’t let Zach do this alone.